I Quit My Job.

I quit my job today. Well, to be exact, I put in my notice three weeks ago and told them I would stay until today. Now the day is here and I’m officially done, I’m officially on to the next adventure. I’m officially going to go after my dreams.

If you can imagine what it feels like to be completely scared and anxious yet extremely excited all at the same time, then you can probably understand how I’m feeling right now. Let’s back up a little bit…

I grew up in a household with two corporate working parents who instilled in my brother and myself that while it’s important to follow your dreams, we’re expected to go to college, get a degree, and then head into the working world. I didn’t really know of anything else besides that plan, and I really convinced myself that I wanted that, too, despite not knowing what I actually wanted to do.

So I set off to college with an undecided major. I was able to try out a bunch of different classes before having to decide what I actually wanted to do, so I tried everything from Speech Language Pathology, to teaching, to Human Resources – yeah, I really had no idea. I felt the pressure of being an 18 year old in college and trying to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but I just wasn’t passionate about ANYTHING.

It’s a really scary feeling when you see your roommates and friends being thrilled about nursing or teaching and you’re over here completely unsure about your future. I think much of this led to my eating disorder (which I share more about here) but I ended up having to leave college halfway through to get treatment.

When I was ready to return to school, I still wasn’t thrilled about it and felt sick at the thought that I would just be getting a degree to graduate, because then what? What would happen next? I really wasn’t sure.

I decided to pursue Public Relations because that seemed like the job that would allow me to have the most creative freedom and something that would be most up my alley. I actually really enjoyed it and enjoyed my next few years at different internships, but it still didn’t light me up.

An opportunity to work at a very big corporate company (where my mom works) came up and I was excited to take that next step, hoping it would be that push that would get me excited about what I was going to do. I was convinced that it would help make me feel like I finally found my calling because the company offers it all.

A big girl job with real benefits, a flexible work-life balance, a very good salary for a 25-year-old, incredible work perks (hello, have you seen my Instagram stories? Free gourmet lunch every single day, free huge gym with classes, and so much more) I’ve been absolutely spoiled at my company. Any professional would be so lucky to work there, I can’t say enough good things about it.

But guess what? Nothing about that filled me up. Nothing about my job excited me. I was getting Sunday Scaries like you would never believe. I dreaded going back to work after the weekends were over and was literally living for the weekends. What also was frustrating was that it wasn’t the company, it was definitely me. It didn’t matter where I was, I just absolutely hated having to answer to someone else, feeling trapped in my cube all day, and not letting my creativity shine. So one day I woke up and decided I had to make a change.

I met my mom at the work gym that morning and we were walking on treadmills next to each other and I said, May 1 is going to be my last day here. I walked her through my plan (which was really just a bunch of ideas), and then sat down with both parents the following weekend to talk to them. When we chatted, I told them I wasn’t looking for advice on whether I should do it or not, but advice for how to do it and how to make it successful.

So what is this new change? How can I just pick up and leave? What is it that lights me up?

Starting on May 7, I’m officially enrolled in the Nutritional Therapy Practitioner (NTP) program from the NTA and I couldn’t be more excited to help others take a more functional, holistic approach to nutrition. It’s clear that nutrition has been my passion for so long, I even considered going back to school to become a registered dietitian but because of my lack of science classes, it would take me a really long time.

The NTP program is the perfect fit because it allows me to take classes online and the four workshops are actually right in Philadelphia, which is great. But what I’m most excited for? Being able to help individuals improve their overall health and wellness. There are so many people who struggle with issues like IBS, Celiacs, have certain diets that they need to follow, and I want to be able to help those individuals figure out how they can use nutrition to help the healing process/keep symptoms at peace. If you’re interested in learning more, their website has a ton of great information.

In addition to becoming an NTP, I’m also going to be working with a very amazing company helping them with their influencer outreach, field marketing, some content creation and some other behind the scenes stuff. I can’t wait to share more on that later, but this will be a part time gig!

And lastly but most importantly, I’m going to focus on Erin Lives Whole. There is a blog post that needs to come with this, but for now I’m happy to share that I’m following my passion, and this tiny piece of the internet/Instagram world makes me the happiest I’ve been in years. I’m lit up.

I come home from work every single day and think about how I can create more content and how I can utilize all the free time I have to continue growing ELW. Being able to develop recipes and share them with you all lights me up. I get so much joy out of spending my time that I have on creating, shooting, tasting, writing, and producing content for ELW.

This shit lights me up.

This is what my heart has been missing.

For the first time, the excitement outweighs the fear.

So do I have a set in stone plan? Eh, not 100%. But I’m taking a leap of faith. I’m doing it. I’m 25, I don’t need to have it all figured out. I’M OKAY WITH BEING IN THE GRAY AREA. I’m okay with not knowing. I will kick myself if in five years if I look back and say, “why the hell didn’t I do it?”

So for now, I’m my own boss. I’ve only got one life and I’m going to do what makes me happy. What makes me inspired. What makes me wake up and feel excited about life. It’s my time to shine.

Bring. It. On.